25 WAYS TO ACHIEVE DASH AND DIGNITY…IN ANY DECADE.
Not sure if you are too old for skinny jeans…or too young for tweeds? Here are the apparel items, accessories and actions that “age” you. Warning; list includes “dress sneakers” and shades.
I was once in the company of the Queen’s frock-maker and rigorous tastemaker Sir Hardy Amies. I had dressed for the occasion - suit, shirt and tie. Church’s shoes. But as we sat down to talk, my eighty-something interviewee took a disparaging look at the silver-decorated, double cuffs peeking out from under my jacket and issued a warning. “Cufflinks,” sniffed Sir Hardy, “are ageing. ”
This was a tough lesson to learn. I was still in my mid thirties and had amassed a nice collection of Tiffany dumbbells, myriad-coloured silk knots, toggle closings and “whalebacks” in gold, enjoying the camp, fancy theatricals of the “French”, turned back shirt-cuff (pretty much every one of my shirts had these) and the showy formality of the subtle jewellery that fastened them. Yet, here was one of the world’s most eminent mannerists telling me that a simple, single buttoned cuff (or two) was more chic, less fussy and geriatric. But the bluntly delivered advice stayed with me.
Unless the occasion was a wedding or a black tie engagement, I never wore cuff-links again. Yes, I was approaching middle age, but I didn’t want to look old, so the silver links were left to tarnish in a box on my dressing table.
As a man gets older he should look like he’s learned a thing or two, has gained knowledge on what is best for his maturing (slowly thickening) self and what childish things he must leave behind. His garb and get up might become more dignified, knowing and age appropriate - probably not “fashionable” but definitely au courant.
Trouser hems and cuffs must be turned up / let out / taken in, as styles change. New looks given the once-over for careful adaptation or disregard. If he has invested wisely, in a series of quality wardrobe classics and staples down the decades, he will have all trends covered as they come and go. The now thing for, say, trench-coats, wide-leg jeans, cowboys shirts, seersucker etc? No need to buy as he’s had for years, right?
But he must be careful not to look too try hard and trend-y…or teenage. After 40, old movies, writers, artists and photography books will probably provide better inspiration than tik-tok clips, pop stars and Instagram influencers (with a few exceptions). So, think carefully before you cufflink, logo and rucksack.
Here’s some more potentially ageing stuff - actions, accessories and apparel - that your age-appropriate but unstuffy/ not-old-yet self might want to avoid.
New belts
A brand new and shiny, crack-free, un-distressed leather belt on a pair of formal trousers can achieve that Boss für Herren, total shop window mannequin look. If looking like an ex member of Kraftwerk is your thing. Better (and much cooler) to strap on a belt that’s lived a bit, been through the wars, suffered quite a few prong holes and several buckle positions…and has the dirty, leathery scars to prove it. Belts are like friends. The old ones are the best and most reliable.
Cotton knitwear
Looks good in the store, fits nice on the first wear and then…oh dear. Knitted cotton goes flaccid, saggy and baggy. In all the wrong places. Wash a navy, summer cotton cardy and the colour fades to cheap denim, the patch pockets begin to sag and there are niggly, snag-pulls all over the arms
“Invisible” pop socks with sneakers
A big look with the lads at Stansted airport during the summer. But on anyone over 40, pop socks come off as worryingly…medical. As if one is trying to prevent DVT of the ankles, or treat athletes’ foot. (No socks is OK with loafers, sandals etc Tanned feet wil help. But if you are wearing a neck tie you’ll also require misery.)
Rucksacks
Away from trail and mountainside they are infantilizing and tech conference-generic. You are not a French student on a London language exchange, so buy a bag with handles, not back straps.
Velcro Wallets
Remember Ryan Gosling’s lady killing millennial character cringing at the sight of sad old divorcee Steve Carell’s noisy, velcro-fastened card case in “Crazy Stupid Love”? Only tragic, analogue, old people have foldy, bulky “wallets” these days. In fact just owning one, even stowed away in a pocket, is a tell-tale geriatric signifier. Make sure yours is leather. Slim, discreet and good quality. (And Ryan was right. You are better than the Gap.)
Tight jeans
Stretchy, drainpipe, religion-revealing denims with a protruding oblong in the groin area, where the phone is stored, look awful on teenagers and just plain tragic on older men. Regular “straight” jeans or Carpenters / painters, like the Waltons used to wear are more the thing.
Coloured shoes
Sorry to be boring here. But shoes are either black or brown. There is something sleazy and showbiz about blue, green and burgundy footwear.
“Grail” Sneakers
Any sporting shoe with a name (and number) that is recognised by teenagers. Classic Stan Smiths and Chuck Taylor’s are good to go but no “Air Force Ones” or “Dunk Lows” And while we’re on the subject…
Dress sneakers
Wearing black or brown, white-soled “formal” or “dress” sneakers, with a suit and tie, is unforgivably naff. It’s a footwear category that tries to be the equivalent of a business-at-the-front-party-at-the-back mullet by adding “fun” and bouncy casualness to a conventional ensemble. It fools no one and should be left to the retirement community living in Florida. And while we love Larry David, he is no style maven
“Comfort”
This should never be a priority. Ever. Sweats, hoodies, flip flops and sliders, an elastic waist, a velcro fastening, soft sole, “stretch” chinos, velour neck brace grazing one’s chin on an airport terminal walk-about - these are all signs that you have JUST. GIVEN. UP. If you want to be comfortable, spend on fabrics - cashmere, merino, silk etc.
Bright, block colours
Canary yellow, turquoise, purple. Salmon, aubergine, damson etc. Be extra careful with red. Primary tones worn by the older generation are thought to be part of a peacocking process that kicks in when a man stops getting “noticed”. The attraction reduction is compensated via scarlet spectacle rims, canary waistcoats and pink socks. The appraisers on Antiques Road Trip are big on this. Don’t copy.
Sunglasses with a suit
Acceptable at summer funerals, but do you really want to look an ageing, East end gangster? Or a retired, Aussie cricketer?
Contemporary / fashion leather jackets
New leather is twee, uptight and noisy. Even a silly money YSL number can look Alan Partridge-y. Much better to seek out a second hand classic. Do get the right fit though.. A 1970s Schott bomber , for instance, should be snug, stop at the waist and not “blouson” in any unflattering areas. A big one, with baggy arms (and an embroidered Hard Rock Cafe logo on the back) is peak “Clarkson”.
Slogan / band t-shirts
For the bedroom only
Non-iron shirts
The devil’s work. Full of nasty chemicals and very un-environmentally friendly manufacturing methods, weird, sweaty sheen, these “easy care” items are the clothing equivalent of processed meat. They look and feel synthetic to the skin, the lack of creases is odd and unnatural. The skin feel is horrid. Just as any sartorial aesthete can spot a cashmere wool’s ply number from ten yards, a well dressed man will be able to tell an non-iron shirt from across the table. A man who is tired of ironing is tired of life.
“Dainty” shoes
“With a suit, always wear big, British shoes, the ones with large welts. There's nothing worse than dainty little Italian jobs at the end of the leg line.” Sage advice from David Bowie, who looked great for all of his 69 years.
Plain knit socks
Away from the padel courts, flat weave, cotton socks look cheap and tragic. A man’s socks should be wool and ribbed…like a condom.
New Hats
You can wear a baseball cap at any age, but make sure it’s old, a bit battered, plain or with a niche company / restaurant / destination logo. Roll the peak, and remove the gold sticker. Your fedora should be beaten up also.
The Wrong Buttons
Which of the three buttons to fasten on a blazer or suit jacket? The rule, working down from the top, is “sometimes / always / never etc . If in doubt, just button up the middle one. All three done up is very “daytime TV presenter”. On a double-breasted, it’s correct to have the lower button of the four (or six) left open. Leave the lowest button up on a waistcoat or a cardigan, raffishly undone also.
All-one-colour outfits
Head-to-toe tone-age makes an older man look weird and creepy, like a character from a 1970s sci- fi show.
Prominent logos
If in doubt, de-badge. There’s a £1.99 “seam ripper” gizmo you can buy in any pound shop. Get one and remove all visible labels and logos from apparel. Unpick white “safety stitches” from new suits also
Black tie / “tux” at a wedding
Don’t care what the Americans say, this is so, so wrong. A wedding is not a Rat Pack ring-a-ding. One is married, or sees a son or daughter wed, in a morning suit or lounge suit.
Baggy (see also “skinny”)
Get sizing right, especially after 40. Too long sleeves on your suit jacket, a big “break” or “puddle” on your over-long trousers will come across as tragic.
i would read that! And thanks for reading. Never ending menswear struggle is real.
Spot on! Each point could be its own post. Another interesting post could be about how extremely few men, of all sizes and ages, get summer outfits right. Women always (almost) can get away with a summer dress and everything that goes with it, and look lovely.. Men on the other hand don't have much when it comes to go-to summer garments. A few can, but they're usually experts or work in the industry or just have impeccable taste. The linen suit? Yes, when done right. But not much else. What do you reckon. A post on the subject
? If no, then I might attempt one myself. Cheers!